Someone I Love has Fibro by Joshua R. Ramirez!

Hi,

My name is Joshua and I am the proud son of Carmen Ramirez.

Carmen & Joshua Ramirez

At first, I had no idea what to write other than I want people to know how amazing my mom is. My mom deals with fibromyalgia, for those who might not know what that is:

         “Fibromyalgia is a syndrome in which a person has long-term, body-wide pain and tenderness in the joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues. Fibromyalgia has also been linked to fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, depression, and anxiety”.

I say my mom "deals with" not “suffers from” because positive language is a key thing I had to learn living with someone who has this daily battle called fibro in his or her life.

It's difficult living with the knowledge that my mom,

The strongest woman I know,

has moments where she feels too physically weak to get out of bed.

It’s tough when my mom will tell me something or have a conversation with me and forget it seconds later, sometimes resulting in me hearing the same thing two or more times and her wondering how I knew what she was going to say.

It’s a hard learned fact that Fibro Fog is real and there are times when I have to finish my mom’s sentences because we both know what she wants to say but she just can articulate the word at that moment.

It's hard to remind myself that while I might feel fine my mom is at times dealing with  excruciating pain and fatigue….. but she makes the effort

because My mom is SuperMom,

because My mom loves unconditionally

                and because My Mom is the strongest person I know.

People with Fibromyalgia in general may feel weak in the physical but in actuality they are people of Herculean strength finding somehow the ability to still go about their day, do what they need to get done, still be what other people need them to be.

(I mean Superman can’t even get off the floor when exposed to Kryptonite but to a person with Fibro, a rainy day might mean that kryptonite is around their neck all day and they still find the strength to be amazing.)

My mom runs a home of 8 and still finds

TIME for everyone,

PATIENCE to hear us out and

ENERGY to get out of bed on days she should really be resting, all because she wants to make sure we eat breakfast before we go to school even though all three of the above might be in short supply that day.

It's been tough over the years slowly seeing symptoms I didn't realize before or I was in denial about.

I remember walking in one morning to my moms room to give her a goodbye kiss and she was knocked out, normally a light sleeper I was surprised she didn't get up I realized it was pouring out!

For people with Fibro bad weather can be a trigger for flare-ups,

My mom probably had just fallen asleep when I was getting up and was probably in a lot of pain,

I looked and saw

her hands looked puffy, tight skinned and shiny

It made me feel powerless because

I would do anything for my mom but I can't fight this for her,

I can't

 take some of the symptoms from her
I can’t
lend her my energy
I can’t
provide her the rest she so well deserves and it’s infuriating for me so I can only imagine how frustrating it is for her, a woman so self-sufficient to feel bed ridden some days.

I’ve learned something simple like doing the dishes or making dinner for her means her hands won’t hurt as much that night,making her breakfast might give her the energy and smile she needs to get up that day,

I’ve learned that doing my best to not get her too emotionally distraught helps too as emotionally draining days usually trigger a flare-up and require a while to recover from
I’ve learned that my mom should stay away from certain foods and ingredients so I try to be mindful and not order Chinese food or things that might tempt her to take a bite and then she’s down for the count hours later.

To me my mom is still the most beautiful woman in the world and hasn’t changed in appearance since I was a kid but I also know that there is a part of me that sees when her cheeks swell, her forehead blushes from fever, her skin gets blotchy when there are patches of heat where her muscles spasm and writhe in pain and I see the blue of veins popping as her skin draws tight and it worries me.

I think living with someone who has Fibro has taught me to have all the same qualities she pushes herself to provide us like Time, Patience and Energy.

It’s taught me to be mindful of my choices and how it might affect my mom; “Can she do a walk in the park with me today?”

Not if I want her to come to some other event with me later, her energy is limited and precious and I am honored she chooses to use it on me.

It’s taught me to appreciate the time I do have with her, to continue to work on myself.

I’ve learned a lot and still have a lot to learn, I can never truly 100% understand how my mom feels but anything I can do for her and for other’s like her I will.

I had a friend in College who I later found out had lupus, because of my mom’s situation I came to understand how my friend felt sometimes when she said she was tired or needed help carrying a book.

I do pray everyday for my mom’s healing but in the meantime we are here in the midst of the battle using everything at our disposal to get through one day at a time.

I still am not sure what I want to convey to families out there who either have been dealing with Fibro or are maybe just getting this diagnosis for the first time.

There is no handbook.

There are no quick fixes.

It’s an arduous process of learning and loving.

Learn what are triggers and what can you do to minimize those?

I know for sure that I love my mom and I am proud of her and every individual out there who has to deal with the same things my mom and my family does.

I thank Milly for allowing me to write here. My heart goes out to you and whoever is reading this.

I’ll stop here as I think I’ve taken enough of your time rambling, just please remember to learn, love and apply as necessary.