"Ms. Ramos you have Fibromyalgia"

As I planned out my future, fibromyalgia was never part of the plan. I vividly remember spending hours sitting on the fire escape looking at the stars while planning out every single detail of my future. Many nights as I gazed into the sky, I would giggle because even I thought my dreams were big and would probably never come to fruition.

I returned to college as an adult student and graduated in 2006. One of the most proudest moments in my life was walking across that stage to accept my diploma and seeing my three children in the audience smiling, clapping and waving.   

The plan was to return after taking a semester off. I desperately needed a break. My body was tired from working a full time job, attending college full time and raising three young children.  My diploma got me a promotion at work and I began looking into making the dream of homeownership a reality. During that same time, I started waking up to burning pain in my torso, nausea, constant headaches, memory issues and severe back pain. I began visiting the doctor looking for answers and he began what is referred to as a "work up". I also began conducting my own research via the internet. As the pain intensified, my mornings become more difficult. I remember the day I explained to my Doctor that I felt like a 35 year old living in the body of a 100 year old. He was scribbling notes and stopped to ask me if I ever heard of Fibromyalgia. I explained to him that I had been conducting research on my own and that the research kept pointing me in that direction. He then stood up, walked over to the examining table, put one hand on my shoulder and told me "Ms. Ramos you have Fibromyalgia". I didn't quite understand fibro at the time and was a bit confused as to why he seemed to be consoling me. It's not a terminal illness, fibromyalgia does not progress and I finally have a name to the cause of my pain. He prescribed me Cymbalta, explained that although used to treat depression it had recently been approved by the FDA for fibromyalgia as well. I felt an immediate sense of relief knowing that I did not have a terminal illness, finally had a name to my pain and was about to walk away with a prescription that would make everything better. Things were about to change!

I started the Cymbalta immediately. Can't wait to start feeling better! Ever watched a Zombie movie and noticed how their lifeless bodies have little or no reaction to anything around them? Yup, that was me on Cymbalta. It did not allow me to laugh, cry or smile. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and informed him that I would not be taking this medication nor any other. Did he fail to notice my last name?  Us Latina's are naturally emotional. This medication and illness would not strip me of my identity. The next few years consisted of stacking on more symptoms and the pain intensified. Fibromyalgia does not progress, so why am I feeling worse than when I was first diagnosed? I didn't think I had Fibro? In fact, I didn't want to have Fibro, nor did I want to discuss it with anyone because of the stigmas associated with it.

Stigma-Fibromyalgia is not real.

Truth-Fibromyalgia is very real! 

FM-A Real Medical Disorder

The FDA has approved three medications to treat Fibromyalgia and they are not in the business of approving drugs for fake illnesses. 

Cymbalta, Savella and Lyrica are all FDA approved for Fibromyalgia.

Stigma-It's all in your head.

Truth-It is all in our heads, research has shown that Fibromyalgia may in fact be a neurological disorder.

Neurotransmitters in Fibromyalgia

These are just two of many stigmas that caused me to construct a wall of silence. I suffered in pain, alone, and tried to disassociate myself with everything and anything fibro related. I was silently hoping for a diagnosis that came with a cure and no stigmas. Meanwhile, I was feeling worse not better. Many say that Fibromyalgia is not progressive because it does not degenerate the body; however, suffering from constant pain on a daily basis was beginning to take a toll on my mind & body.

I returned to my new PCP(I was now living in Newark, New Jersey and achieved the dream of homeownership despite the pain, fog and denial).  He convinced me that suffering in pain while there were options didn't seem logical and I left his office with a starter pack of Savella. This time I did not feel groggy and actually felt some relief (not an endorsement for Savella). It now made sense that I did have fibromyalgia. Why else would I find relief from a medication solely used for the treatment of fibromyalgia? This is the moment I started my journey through the acceptance stage and stumbled upon the road to finding relief.

Thank you to Fibromyalgia english/afrikaans for allowing me to use their two images of fibrofacts.  To see all 10, find and like them on Facebook.

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