I may not have much time to write the next few days, but that does not mean that I have forgotten about any of you.  The reason I have not posted is that I am currently attending the Leaders Against Pain Training by the National Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Association.  

We are ALL in this together and I wanted to remind you that we are ALL Leaders Against Pain. I hope you all have a Happy & Pain Free Day. If today is not your day, remind yourself that this too shall pass and that while the sun is shining on someone else today, it will make its way around to you. 

PS- This training is not for me it is for ALL of us!

Real Life Super Heroes

As I read the article about 12 year old Collin with Fibromyalgia in California who hand delivered a proclamation request to his Mayor and submitted letters to other elected officials including the President of the United States, I found strength.

Then we have the 16 year old on Instagram with Fibromyalgia who walks around with a service dog. This young person is currently taking online classes in order to graduate with a High School diploma and her attitude is that although some things don't get better-We do because we get stronger. Once again I found strength.

Then there are ALL of you, some of whom I had the pleasure of meeting face to face and others who I only know from contact through Social Media. You ALL helped me realize that we can lead happy lives with Fibromyalgia-despite the pain, fatigue, sleep disturbances, anxiety, depression, IBS and other symptoms. You all get it when my back hurts one day and the pain has shifted to my arm the very next day, you get it when I say I'm exhausted but can't sleep, you get it when I am so sick from my stomach that the mere smell of food makes me nauseous, you get it when I can't remember what I did yesterday let alone something I may have just said, you get it when I'm depressed because I had to cancel plans at last minute because my body just won't allow me to go out that day. You get it because you walk in my shoes everyday. You understand how it feels to wake up in the morning feeling more tired than the night before and then the night comes and you can't sleep. You know that seeing a doctor is only a piece to the puzzle and that no Doctor can help us because the science has yet to be discovered. 

You know that there is no one size fits all in living with Fibromyalgia. You understand that to smile again, you will need to self identify triggers and self manage your pain. You understand that while we have options, symptoms can vary from person to person and Fibromyalgia can affect people differently.

You know the importance of rolling up your sleeves and helping a fellow Fibromyalgia warrior when they are having a bad day. In fact you create a huge cheering section for that person and when that fails, you know to simply remind the person that this too shall pass, because it always does. Don't we all have a 100% track record of recovering from Fibromyalgia flares? You overcome adversity on a daily basis by facing Fibromyalgia and do not allow it to steal your heart or smile-You are my Real Life Heroes!

Someone I Love Has Fibro by Ashley Ann Soto (Daughter of Mildred Velez)

"Throughout the years, I have found that the most important thing to remember when living with someone with Fibromyalgia is to be patient." 

In 2006, I was fourteen years old. At that age, most people are old enough to comprehend things but still not fully matured enough to understand them thoroughly. So when my mother was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I did not realize just how difficult things would be for her and even the rest of our family. In fact, no one could even pronounce the word! Becoming accustomed to her symptoms and finding ways to make her life manageable was not that of an easy task. As a family, our duty was to notice what things triggered the symptoms and make forth our best effort to guiding our mother (and in my dads case, his wife). 

Throughout the years, I have found that the most important thing to remember when living with someone with Fibromyalgia is to be patient. Though at the time, I did not know there was even a term for it, moms “fibro fog” was probably the first symptom we all noticed most and even at most times became extremely frustrated by. There were many cases where my mother would be in attempts of saying something to us and suddenly get stuck mid-sentence. The simplest things such as, “Pass me the —.” In frustration we all would yell,

   “PASS YOU THE WHAT MOM?”

   “WHAT DO YOU NEED?”

   “GET IT OUT!”

   “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?” 

She wanted the salt shaker. We did not realize at the time but our lack of patience and yelling only made the situation worse. What mom needed was a minute to think, to remember what to call what we saw as a simple object. She needed us to be quiet so that she can concentrate. I remember vividly my mother explaining to us all finally that she did not want us to help her figure out a word when she could not get it out. Many times, she would be explaining something to us and while she would forget something as simple as a name, we would give it to her. “Oh, you’re talking about Steve, mom.” However, she wanted us to simply give her time. At this point, she was learning ways to handle her sickness. Upon the many ways was allowed time to focus. And so, patience is key. 

If someone you know and love has Fibromyalgia, you may find that anxiety plays a major role in their symptoms. This is where understanding seems to fall as a factor again. Living in a house of five people and two dogs, noise is constant. As are messes, confrontations, and a bunch of other situations that can stand as stressful to anyone. For someone with Fibromyalgia, this can trigger MANY symptoms; not just anxiety. Loud music can cause headaches. And while, you and I will probably simply take an Advil and be okay, for someone with Fibromyalgia headaches can many times mean unbearable pain. Growing up, my brother and I would often times lock ourselves in our rooms like most teenagers and blast music. We thought our mom was just being an annoying mom when she told us to lower the volume. We did not always realize that our mother was most times in pain. As children, we always wanted our cousins to spend the weekends at our place. Us and our cousins meant ruckus and lots of it. “Not this weekend,” my mom would say. Though at the time we could not come to terms with this, we see now that probably meant mom was flaring, or in the midst of her symptoms for those of you not familiar with the term. We had to learn to understand that something as common as shopping all day long or attending a party with too many guests for too long of a time period could cause anxiety for mom and furthermore leave her in pain for days — or even weeks. 

When my mother asked me to write on her blog, I was not sure exactly what I would say in it. She said that I would probably have to do some research on how people can help their Fibro loved ones. Once I began writing though, I came to find that was not very necessary. I have loved my mother for twenty two years and because of my loving her, I have learned and continue to learn how to make this condition as uncomplicated as possible. I find that I am on a never-ending journey to finding out more about Fibromyalgia. And so my advice to anyone loving someone with Fibro includes to ask many questions helping yourself better come to understanding. Depression is also upon the symptoms of Fibromyalgia and if we are not careful and understanding of our loved ones, they may suffer. Be patient when they are distressed by their symptoms. Give them time to think when going through what we see as a brain fart. More than likely, they are just as if not even more frustrated than you are when this happens. Trust me though, they are trying really hard to get that word or phrase out. A simple, “It’s okay, take your time” and silence will probably be very helpful for them. Never forget to love your Fibro loved one. Never stop seeking further knowledge of their condition. Remain vigilant of their feelings. Be very observant of what causes pain and what triggers their symptoms. They did not choose to have Fibromyalgia but with your patience and understanding, this journey can be a bit less challenging. 

-Ashley Ann

I love you, Mom.

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What are my Triggers?

If you read my last post "Run Milly Run" you would get the impression that one day I woke up began a walking regimen and POOF-Fibromyalgia was gone (well….. it is a flarey tale).

Anyone with Fibromyalgia knows that if it were that easy, there would be millions walking in droves to restore our health. Running has helped me immensely but before the running, I was on a quest to manage symptoms. I learned early on that Fibromyalgia is a personal syndrome in that it affects each person differently.  I also learned that for me cold weather was a trigger.  Weather  also seemed to be a common trigger for many; however I noticed that while one person with Fibro was thriving in Alaska there were many others there who felt as if they did better in Carribean temperatures and vice-versa (personal syndrome).  While we may not be able to control the weather and yes we can choose to pack up and move, weather is not the only common trigger. So let's start by taking control of what we can do to manage symptoms.  A guide to managing symptoms starts with a pain journal. Two of my favorites are:  http://www.catchmypain.com and http://www.chronicpainapp.com.


Once we identify triggers we can start paying attention to the signs.  A few days ago, in the midst of a very hectic day, I decided to eat a cheeseburger from a local fast food chain.  What on earth was I thinking?  I ordered the burger, knowing very well that this would cost me later. The next two days consisted of pain, fibro fog and my favorite of all Irritable Bowel Syndrome-Did somebody say Flare? 

A few years ago, I probably would have been flaring for weeks.  Why? because I did not know my triggers and would have continued making wrong choices causing a spiral effect.  Although, there is no cure for Fibromyalgia and we will ALL have bad days, we can learn to manage symptoms and hopefully the good days can start outweighing the bad days (soft hugs).

Show some Love by sharing!

Run Milly Run!

I was conditioned to believe that when you are sick you pop a pill, get rest and the next day you wake up feeling better.  While that may be true for "normal" people it is often not the case for people living with Fibromyalgia. 

Our daily reality is more like the seven dwarfs :

Sleepy-Oh those darn Chronic Fatigue Days.

Dopey-When you can't take the pain anymore and give into the narcotics prescribed by your MD.

Bashful-We just never know what might come out of our mouth-Fibro Fog.

Doc-Since Md's don't understand us we have to figure ourselves out.

Grumpy-You would be too, if you were constantly in pain.

Happy-On those HAPPY Pain Free Days!

Sneezy-Allergies are commonly associated with Fibromyalgia (along with 49 other conditions.. but we will get to that in a later post).


I tried OTC medicines, prescription medicines, sleeping more. So why on Earth was I not feeling better? I no longer had a PCP.  I now had a team of Doctors that consisted of a PCP, GYN, Rheumatologist, Gastroenterologist, Dermatologist, Neurologist and not one could provide me with any relief from my symptoms.  I started drafting a contingency plan in my head for the day when I could no longer work.  Heck-I even started questioning myself and whether this was all in my head.  Everyone else my age was out enjoying life and all I could do was push myself to work and even that was proving to be more difficult on a daily basis.  My co-workers were running marathons and here I was, unable to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I was about to die.  Yup… I was hating.  Why was I handed this shitty deck of cards with Fibromyalgia?

Then out of the blue one day as I reflected back on my life, I reminded myself that life has never been easy for me and still I had a 100% track record of over coming every obstacle placed in front of me-until Fibromyalgia. It was then that I decided  to  try this walking bit that everyone kept talking about. If Fibromyalgia was going to give me uninvited pain then why be afraid of pain that I cause on myself.



I began my daily walks in the park. I enjoyed the tranquility of being surrounded by nature and found it helpful in de stressing from the negativity of the day. Not only was I feeling better mentally but physically as well. I began jogging and eventually I was running, it was my way of being able to run away from everything that bothered me even if only for 1/2 an hour.  I felt the fibro pains many times and still do today.  I ignore the pain because it is my way of taking back control of my body. I registered for a 3k run for healthy kids and the goal was to finish. Guess What? I ran a 5k with a few stops to catch my breath and yes I cried when I sprinted across that finish line because I knew that although I have Fibromyalgia it does not have me.

Read my next posts to hear what else I did to  restore mind, body, spirit and soul.  Running was just the icing on the cake.

Why Blog?

I have thought about blogging for quite sometime now but kept putting it off.

Some of the reasons:

What if no one reads my blog?

What can I say to other fibro warriors that they don't already know?

When will I find the time to blog?

Well, Im here and if no one reads, at least I can say that I tried. There are many things that I can share with my fellow fibro warriors regarding my personal journey leading up to diagnosis, the struggle finding myself in a body with Fibromyalgia and finally learning to live again.  I think I might have to blog for the next forty years and still not come close to touching all of it.

Enough about why I second guess myself.  Let's get back to why we are here.  I have always been a believer that everything happens for a reason.  But what could be the reason for this Fibromyalgia diagnosis?  It was handed to me during a stage in my life that should have been one of the happiest. I was finally a homeowner, my husband and I had sorted out our relationship issues, our children were doing well in school & life, my career was just beginning to thrive. It felt as if the universe looked at me and said, so you think you can overcome anything- Try Fibromyalgia. 

This may have been my toughest battle this far but it's quite difficult to beat a person that does not believe in giving up.  In the words of Whitney-"I was not built to Break"!